I mean it. I dreamed last night that I squatted 190, 10 more than my max. I felt every moment of it just like it was real life. And it was — in my dream I didn’t know I was dreaming. I felt the bar under my hands, the weight on my back, the nervous energy that comes with trying a new personal record, and in the dream, I even did it for two reps. It was heavy and slow, but it moved.
I woke up knowing I could do 190. I am a total believer in the power of visualization. And this was way better than just visualizing, because all the details were there.
And happy day, when I got the the gym, Ben told me it’s 90% day. Because he’s basing my percentages on 200, that meant 180. I desperately wanted to ask him if I could do more; the confidence of hitting a heavy weight the week before a meet is a huge boost. But I kept it zipped, working through all my sets until 165. I couldn’t resist then, asking if we couldn’t just add two 10s instead of the assortment of little plates to get to 180. “No,” he said. I didn’t argue. 180 is a big enough deal, I needed to focus on it. So I did, and nailed it.
Ben took off some plates and added some others. I didn’t count but smiled to myself. It was more than 180. I walked around the gym, trying to not let my heart race too wildly. Chalk, belt, and approach the bar. “I’ve done this. I will do it,” I thought. And I knew I was right the moment I stood up under it. There’s a feeling I get, only with squat, never with bench or deadlift, that tells me I’ve got it. I just feel like my legs are strong and sturdy and will support me. So down, I think a shade too high, and up, Matt yelling “knees out” for me. And that was it. “How much was it?” I asked, thinking it was 185. “190,” Ben said, instantly bringing an ear to ear grin to my face that I couldn’t wipe off. My hands trembled, like they always do when I hit a new record, as I asked why he changed his mind.
“You needed to do 90% and 180 looked too easy,” he said, and my smile grew even bigger. I’m trying to keep it under control, but if I have 190 … maybe some more dreams can come true!