It’s time to put on my meat socks and lift some heavy weight.
I had a great talk today with a very smart friend who helped me get my mind set for my trial run Friday. I’m maxing on all three lifts for the first time since the February meet, and expect/want/hope to see some significant progress. But mainly, I want to squat 170 pounds. That puts me within striking distance of my June 18 goal of 180.
We talked about what happened at my first meet, when I caved twice under 160, and about what it is that I’m afraid of. “You seem fearless to me,” she said, which is a fantastic compliment. I thought I was fearless with the weights too — until I learned what really heavy is. She also (rightly) observed that it’s the very fear that I’m drawn to — that overcoming the fear is the real triumph.
And it’s true. I want to hit big numbers on my deadlift, but there’s no siren call there luring me to heavier weights. You pick it up or you don’t. With the squat, you take a risk going under that bar. Even with spotters in place who will without a doubt protect you, on a molecular level (her great description) your body senses danger when it’s under tremendous weight. Rising to that challenge, overcoming that fear, will tempt me to go as far as my body will take me. But I have to overcome my stumbling block – fear of failing, especially in front of people.
“Forget about all of them,” my friend said. “You’re doing this for you.” And the best advice of all — she said to find humor in it. Because when you can laugh at yourself, you can let all that go.
So I’m going to wear my new MEAT socks to my meet. A 105-pound, former vegetarian, food writer wearing knee high MEAT socks as she tries to break a world powerlifting record can’t take herself too seriously. If a little giggle at the irony of it all will lift my spirits and help me lift that weight, I’m all for it. And really, how can you be afraid when your legs spell MEAT?